The Security Mentor

Remember the Dilbert cartoon where Dogbert put together a generic newspaper? It had headlines like "Violence in Mideast" and "Pope denounces immorality". Dogbert charged a thousand dollars a copy, since it would never grow stale and you'd never need to buy another.

The same concept underlies the generic state song.

Here's the equivalent for announcements about virus releases:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/03/Feb/virus.html